This may be a lighter topic than usual, but between my daughter in 3rd grade and one of my all time favorite clients “J”, in her late 80’s who is still dealing with it………I had to write about the mean girl phenomena.
I know mean girls well. I learned about them in kindergarten and continued on into my 40’s. The first experience that comes to mind was in first grade. She (can’t remember her name), told this boy Ken, (who I was terribly in love with), that I was pining for him, that I smoked menthol cigarettes in the parking lot and that my feet were so big I wore my mom’s shoes. The only true statement was my crush, I don’t think I knew what menthol cigarettes were and the foot thing was too close for comfort. How the details got back to me, I can’t remember, but when they did, I was shocked. I couldn’t understand why someone I barely knew had such a vendetta for me. Ken avoided me for the next three years, and I’m not sure how my reputation fared.
Now, I can’t write this without admitting , I’ve hurt people in my life and I’ve been mean. I have a million character flaws that make it possible. The only thing to say is that my meanness tends towards the accidental and not premeditated.
When my client J talked about her mean girl dilemma in a recent reading, I couldn’t believe it. I yelled, “so we have to deal with this type of person forever?” The answer is yes. Which makes sense. Age doesn’t necessarily make people wiser and kind, sometimes it does the exact opposite.
The woman J is dealing with is jealous of her friendships with the other ladies in their group. They meet weekly and have been for years, which is J’s favorite social outing. So she can’t really walk away from her group, and it’s hard for her to be in it and feel so hurt by what this woman does. The advice that came to me may be hard for her, but it’s the one way where I saw a healing outcome.
I told her to stand up for herself, by saying in a polite and gentle way, “Am I mistaken or have I offended you? If I have, what can I do to clear it up?” It will work. Plus, J will feel better for having taken her power back and done something constructive with it.
While writing this, an unexpected yet familiar message has come through. Friends are the family we choose. Choose wisely, and treasure your time together, for hopefully, it will be long. If one of you starts getting crabby, talk it out.
Keep your distance from anyone mean and be with those that bring out the very best in you!!
Thank you J for letting me tell your story and reminding me about this message. It’s a good one.
Prayer Requests: Pari, David, Sarah, Tom, Charlie, Sam, Josh, Candy, Michelle, N & G, L & K, Telly, Julie, Joanne, Mercine, Lisa, Connie, Nancy, Marly, Ricki & Patty. If you could spend a moment saying these names and imagining each having a healthy and fulfilling life, filled with happiness and wonder. Thank you, and know that I pray this for you and all those you love and hold close.